


This is the safest way to go nobody gets hurt

by storiesthatmakeus



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Love, M/M, Reflection, Sadness, christmas day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-09
Updated: 2017-12-11
Packaged: 2019-02-12 14:19:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12961182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storiesthatmakeus/pseuds/storiesthatmakeus
Summary: Victoria pays a visit to Aaron on Christmas Day, but is there more to her visit than meets the eye, and will it spur a chain of events that brings the boys back together?(Based on a small magazine spoiler, not a leaked one in case you're avoiding stuff...)Completed





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So there's a spoiler for Christmas saying Aaron is distracted but a visit from Victoria may help.
> 
> This is just one idea I had for how that spoiler may play out....but I'm probably miles off!
> 
> I'm sorry in advance if it's sad....
> 
> (Oh and I've made Victoria like her old self in this, well I've tried to anyway...)

Aaron was halfway through a box of chocolates and his annual viewing of _Die Hard_ when the knock on the door came. He glanced over at Alex, dozing next to him on the couch. It had been a weird day; Alex turning up to Wishing Well out of the blue and being subjected to the Dingle interrogation, so he was grateful for the relative quiet of the Mill, Liv having absconded to do who knows what with Gabby. He hadn’t expected to see anyone else at this time, so he was surprised to see Victoria on the other side of the Mill front door.

‘’Vic, hey…what’s up?’’

‘’Hiya, I’m just dropping off some presents for you and Liv. Didn’t get a chance earlier.‘’ She finished levelly, and Aaron saw a flicker of something in her eyes, but shrugged it off.

‘’Vic, you didn’t have to do that.’’

‘’I didn’t…well I know I didn’t have to, but I wanted to. They’re only small, so…’’

‘’Oh, well that’s okay then, if they’re only small.’’ Aaron joked. ‘’Thanks Vic.’’

‘’No worries, oh sorry,’’ she whispered as she caught sight of Alex on the couch. ‘’Didn’t realise you had company.’’

‘’Yea,’’ Aaron replied as he glanced quickly behind him. ‘’Popped over once his shift ended, then met all of my lot, so I think it’s taken it out of him.’’

‘’Yea I can imagine…so he was at the hospital _today_ then?’’ Vic asked with a curious look on her face.

‘’Yea… _today_. Pulled the short straw. He does work there ya know.’’ Aaron confirmed, puzzled by the way Victoria’s eyes fluttered over to the sleeping man behind her as Aaron mentioned the hospital.

‘’No, of course he does. Just thinking…spending Christmas in hospital isn’t very fun is it?’’

‘’Wouldn’t wish it on anyone.’’ Aaron agreed.

‘’Right, well I’ll leave you to it then, Merry Christmas and all that.’’ Vic said with a smile, but it didn't reach her eyes. Just as she was about to leave, Aaron put his hand on her arm.

‘’Vic…?’’ Aaron started cautiously.

‘’Yea?’’

‘’How’s Robert doing?’’

‘’Why do you ask?’’ Aaron missed it this time, the look as that same flicker crossed her face again.

‘’Oh…well it’s nothing really…it’s just I text him this morning to say Merry Christmas and he never replied so…’’

Aaron wasn’t entirely sure what he was trying to say. After the scene in the pub he’d debated contacting him at all. But as the hours passed, and his feelings changed, he tried to push down the pang of regret at how he had spoken to Robert. His ex was hurting; he knew that, and he had debated going to Keepers to apologise in person, but it wasn’t that easy. Sending a text had seemed like a good start, but as the day went on and he had received no reply, he couldn’t help the feeling that something was amiss. Alex and Chas had both noticed his mood, but he had fobbed them off, blaming it on a classic Dingle snowball and the shock of seeing his boyfriend turn up, and they accepted his explanation easily.

‘’Oh, I think he’s just lost his phone somewhere.’’

‘’Been doing that a lot recently…oh it’s nothing’’ Aaron finished quickly, seeing the puzzled look on Victoria’s face, and he couldn’t help a small sigh of relief escaping him as he realised he wasn’t being ignored, ‘’You’ll tell him I said hello, yea?’’

‘’Of course.’’ Victoria replied kindly. ‘’See you tomorrow yea?’’

Aaron closed the door softly behind him as soon as she left, but the slight click roused Alex from his slumber.

‘’Hey, what were you doing out there?’’ Alex asked sleepily. ‘’Where did they come from, Christmas elf or something?’’ he continued, pointing at the gifts in Aaron’s hand.

‘’She’s small enough to be an elf anyway.’’ Aaron chuckled to himself.

‘’She?’’

‘’Oh Vic…she’s R…Adam’s wife.’’ He corrected quickly. ‘’Just dropping these off.’’ He could have said she was Robert’s sister. It was the truth, and she was still a mate, but saying his name to Alex still felt raw, weird tingles of betrayal surrounding him from all sides, guilt for mentioning his ex-husband to his new boyfriend and guilt for moving on from Robert still clawing at him occasionally.

‘’So, you gonna make it to the end of this film or what?’’ Aaron joked as he brushed off his niggle and slumped back down on the couch, the presents safely deposited under the tree to open with Liv the following morning.

 

 

 

Robert’s eyes fluttered open as he felt a soft, warm hand on his. He managed a weak smile as he saw Victoria sitting opposite him, her own smile barely perceptible as she fought back some tears.

‘’Hey big bro,’’ she said softly. ‘’How you feeling?’’

‘’I’m okay. Did you do it?’’ He asked as he pulled himself up in the bed.

‘’Yea.’’ She nodded softly. ‘’He thinks they’re from me.’’

‘’Good.’’ Robert sighed. ‘’And you didn’t…?’’

‘’I kept my word Rob, he doesn’t know you’re in here.’’

‘’Thank you, I know you don’t like lying.’’

‘’Please change your mind Robert, Aaron would want to know you’re in here.’’

‘’He’s moved on Vic, he shouldn’t be worrying about me.’’

‘’But this isn't just a grazed knee...and he still cares Rob…’’

‘’Vic please, he’s spent enough of his life in hospitals. I’m not having him spend Christmas in one, he deserves more than that. Did he seem…?’’

‘’Good?’’ Robert nodded and Vic hesitated before she answered. ‘’Yea, he looked happy.’’

Robert smiled acceptingly, but didn’t miss the flash of something indescribable that crossed his little sister’s features as she spoke, and immediately he knew.

‘’Alex was there…’’ Robert guessed, and Vic nodded, but she didn’t elaborate further and she was grateful when he didn’t push.

She had felt it, just for a moment as she stood in the Mill doorway, the trickle of anger when Aaron revealed that Alex had experienced a Dingle Christmas. An honour, Zac had always called it, being invited to Wishing Well, an honour a perfect stranger had received after five minutes of knowing Aaron. If she could keep that morsel of information to herself forever and never see her brother’s heart break at just how much Aaron had moved on, then she would.

‘’He asked after you, ya know?’’

‘’Alex?’’

‘’Aaron. Said he text you, but didn’t get a reply…I told him you lost your phone.’’

‘’Right, thanks.’’

‘’You gonna then?’’

‘’What?’’

‘’Text him back?’’

‘’No, probably not.’’

''Why not?''

''Because I have to start letting him go Vic.''

‘’Robert.’’

‘’Fine, I’ll think about it.’’ Robert sighed as he caught sight of the time. ‘’Go home Vic, it’s late.’’

‘’I’m not going anywhere.’’

‘’Vic, it’s Christmas Day, go and spend the rest of it with Adam.’’

‘’No…I’m not…’’

‘’Vic, I’m okay, I promise.’’ Robert said gently as he took her hand in his. ‘’Please, go home.’’

‘’I’ll be back first thing.’’ Vic acquiesced as she accepted defeat.

‘’I’ll be here.’’ Robert joked sadly as she hugged him awkwardly, his bruised body a bit of an obstacle for them both. Giving him a peck on the cheek, she walked slowly out, pulling the door behind her.

 

Ignoring the jolt of pain that ran through him, he turned over and grabbed his phone from the bedside locker, Aaron’s text still bouncing up and down on his lock screen. Robert’s finger hovered over it for several seconds, before he admitted defeat and shoved it back into the drawer, ignoring the small clang as it hit the ring he had deposited so carefully next to it only hours beforehand. He resisted the urge to look at it once last time, but didn't have the same willpower when it came to stroking his bare ring finger. He shuffled down into the bed, running his thumb over the pale patch of skin and trying to fight the tears as he waited for sleep to come.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam spills the beans to Aaron over Robert's Christmas Day disappearance, leading to a conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I was asked for a follow up chapter to my original one shot, and this is the result.
> 
> Fair warning: I think this is sadder than the first chapter....
> 
> I'm a bit nervous about this one...hope someone thinks it's okay!

‘’Alright, got a bit too into the spirit of things yea?’’

Aaron jogged up to Adam as he emerged from David’s, the makings of a full English in his arms.

‘’Awh don’t bro,’’ Adam groaned. ‘’Never mix cooking sherry and lager, I’m telling ya. How come you’re so chipper?’’

‘’Iron Dingle stomach innit?’’ Aaron joked back. ‘’So I’m guessing Vic has no sympathy for ya, if you’re the one getting food?’’ He asked, looking at the bacon and eggs.

‘’Got it in one mate,’’ Adam laughed, ‘’She’s on her way back now, left this morning without even checking on me. Knows how to make me suffer does Vic.’’

‘’Speaking of Vic,’’ Aaron remembered, ‘’Cheers for the presents.’’

‘’What presents?’’

‘’The ones Vic dropped round last night, said they were from her, I assumed you picked them together?’’

‘’Dunno what you're on about, what were they anyway?’’ Adam asked, looking completely baffled.

‘’Haven’t opened them yet, been waiting for Liv to emerge from her pit…’’

‘’Well let me know what they are, yea?’’

‘’So it definitely wasn’t you then?’’

‘’Sorry bro, Vic and I agreed to save the pennies for all this adoption stuff, only present we got was for Isaac…dunno why Vic would go behind my back but…what?’’ Adam trailed off, seeing the look of realisation on Aaron’s face. ‘’What?’’

‘’It was Robert, must have been. You know Vic was acting shifty last night and I ignored it. What’s he doing getting us presents after everything? And why wouldn’t he just drop them round himself anyway?’’

Adam’s eyes widened and he began to shuffle awkwardly, the ingredients in his arms looking more precarious by the second.

‘’Adam, what is it?’’

‘’Bro, has nobody told ya?’’

‘’Told me what?’’ Adam continued to look away, until Aaron stepped closer. ‘’Told me what Adam?’’

‘’Mate, Robert’s in hospital.’’

Aaron staggered back, the words _Robert_ and _hospital_ whirring around his head, piercing through him like nails on a chalkboard.

‘’Wha...um…How?’’ He eventually gasped out.

‘’He got hit by a car, he’s okay.’’ Adam finished quickly, seeing the terrified look on Aaron’s face. ‘’Few cuts and bruises, but otherwise fine.’’

‘’But…he spent _Christmas Day_ in hospital? Was anyone with him?’’

‘’Vic spent most of the day with him, but he sent her home, don’t think he wanted anyone with him last night.’’

‘’He spent last night on his own?’’

‘’As far as I know, yea…mate, where are you going?’’ Adam asked as Aaron suddenly turned on his heel and stalked off.

‘’Where do you think?’’

 

 

Robert shuffled awkwardly out of the bathroom, his bruised ribs slowing him down considerably. He made it back to the bed, allowing himself to wince more than once as the pain shot up his side, knowing he was by himself.

Only he wasn’t, he soon realised, the flash of black he glimpsed as he pulled himself into the bed catching his attention, and there he was leaning against the doorframe, arms folded and an unreadable expression on his face.

 

Aaron.

 

‘’Vic?’’ Robert guessed as he leaned against the headboard.

‘’Adam, actually.’’

‘’What a surprise.’’

‘’So, were you ever gonna tell me you landed yourself in here?’’

‘’No.’’ Robert replied with a blunt edge that he regretted the moment he saw the flicker of hurt flash across Aaron’s features before it disappeared.

‘’Why not?’’ Robert didn’t meet his gaze, and Aaron immediately knew. ‘’Because you’re not my problem anymore, is that it?’’

Robert shrugged, but the action caused him to wince in pain, something that didn’t go unnoticed by Aaron, who was by his side instantly.

‘’Hey, take it easy.’’ Aaron whispered, as if speaking in a soft voice would take the pain away, which it did, but Robert knew it wouldn’t do either of them any favours to admit it.

‘’I’m fine.’’ Robert argued, but his half-hearted response only drew a snort from Aaron.

‘’Yea, I believe ya.’’ He replied dryly. ‘’What you gonna say next? That you should see the state of the other guy? Except you can’t, because the other guy was a _car_ , Robert.’’

‘’I’m aware of that Aaron, being the one that got hit and all.’’

‘’Shame the car didn’t knock the smart arse out of ya.’’ Aaron smirked, and he felt a surge in his chest as Robert chuckled weakly at his comment. ‘’Seriously though, are you okay?’’ He asked softly.

‘’Yea, I’m okay.’’ Robert answered quietly. ‘’You didn’t have to come.’’

‘’Course I did.’’

‘’Why?’’

‘’Because two words I never wanted to hear in the same sentence were _Robert_ and _hospital_.’’ Aaron answered immediately, his eyes glassy as a heavy silence fell between them, and suddenly he felt awkward, his words too laced with something akin to intimacy to be comfortable. ‘’Besides,’’ he continued hastily, trying for humour, ‘’you know how much I love this place, any excuse to visit eh?’’

‘’Oh so that’s why you’re dating a doctor then yea?’’ Robert smiled weakly, trying to replicate Aaron’s attempt at a laugh and failing, if the look on the other man’s face was any indication. ‘’How are things with…?’’

‘’I don’t want to talk about him.’’ Aaron replied, deliberately avoiding saying Alex’s name, the same tingle of guilt that he had felt avoiding Robert’s name in front of Alex the previous day now prickling his spine.

‘’It’s fine Aaron, I brought him up.’’ Aaron sighed, relenting.

‘’He’s good yea, we’re taking things slow.’’

It was almost imperceptible, the moment Aaron glanced at his stomach as he spoke, but Robert didn’t miss it.

‘’That’s good Aaron. He seems decent, _understanding_.’’ Aaron’s eyes shot up at the subtle shift in Robert’s tone, but the other man was smiling nonchalantly at him, so he tried to shrug it off.

‘’He is. Anyway,’’ Aaron said, clearing his throat, ‘’I should head off, Liv’s probably crawled out of her cave now, she’ll be wondering where I am, just wanted to make sure you were still alive.’’

‘’Yea, of course, still here.’’ Robert smiled.

‘’Oh and thank you, for the gifts, gonna open them when I get back. You really didn’t have to…’’

‘’Got them ages ago, shame for them to go to waste.’’ Robert half-shrugged.

‘’Why did you pretend they weren’t from you?’’

‘’Seemed easier I guess, but I still wanted you to have them.’’

‘’Well either way, it means a lot.’’ Aaron smiled, grabbing Robert’s hand as he spoke.

He didn’t mean to do it, but it was instinct, an ingrained habit he had developed whenever he wanted to show his gratitude to Robert for something, and didn’t really have the words. It was then that he noticed it, the lack of cool metal against his skin as he pressed his fingers on top of Robert’s. He glanced down, looking for confirmation, and his stomach dropped when he got it. He attempted to straighten himself quickly, but it was too late.

‘’Yea…figured it was about time.’’ Robert answered his unspoken question as he followed Aaron’s gaze.

‘’Guess you’re right…feels a bit weird though without the weight, doesn’t it?’’ Aaron asked, memories of his own ring removal flickering in front of him.

‘’I’ll get used to it.’’ Robert admitted, and there was nothing but acceptance in his voice, which stung Aaron, just a little. ‘’Anyway, don’t want to keep Liv waiting any longer do you?’’

‘’No, definitely not. I’ll leave you alone now, get some rest Rob.’’ Aaron said softly as he rose from his chair. He was just at the door when he heard his ex-husband’s voice behind him again.

‘’Aaron?’’ It was so gentle, and Aaron couldn’t help the shiver that ran down him.

‘’Yea?’’ He turned around, and Robert was gazing at him intently.

‘’You don’t have to do anything you’re not ready for. But…if you are ready, then I’m really proud of you.’’

‘’Ready for what?’’

‘’To let him see you…all of you.’’

Robert’s words were so sincere, and in that moment, Aaron loved him and hated him irrevocably; because of course Robert Sugden could still read him like a book.

‘’Why are you saying this?’’

‘’Because Aaron Dingle, you _deserve_ to be seen. Surprised it took this long if I’m honest.’’

He could feel the blush spreading across him, and a part of himself was furious that he could still get affected so easily by the words Robert could say, but it was overridden by the spike of comfort he felt to hear Robert’s pride in him. He didn’t have any words to say in response, so all he could do was nod. He was nearly out the door when the urge to speak overtook him, and he had to say it. Turning back one last time, he took in the sight of Robert in his hospital bed, and he knew he couldn’t leave without saying it.

‘’Robert?’’

‘’Yea?’’

‘’You’ll always be my problem, you know?’’

‘’Yea, I know.’’

With that, Aaron knew it was time to go. Pulling the door behind him, he let out a breath, and right on cue, a text came from Liv.

_Hurry up from wherever it is you are, I’ve seen the presents and I won’t wait much longer to open them._

 

 

Robert was discharged from hospital two days later. Aaron caught a glimpse of him going into Keepers with Vic by his side. He wanted to run over and see how he was, ask if there was anything he could do and just talk to him for a second, but he couldn’t, because he didn’t have the words.

He couldn’t tell him that Liv fought back a tear when he told her that the charcoal art set she’d casually mentioned around her birthday and finally received at Christmas had been from Robert. That she’d pretended she didn’t want it, but carried it up carefully to her room that night, thinking he hadn’t noticed.

He couldn’t tell him that he fought his own emotions when he opened his gift, and found an exact copy of a video game he had spoken about during one of their many late night conversations in the pub, explaining how it was the game that bonded him and Adam together when they first became mates, and how annoyed he was that he lost it in all the upheaval of his sudden move to France.

He couldn’t tell him that it was his words that give Aaron the encouragement he needed to tell Alex about his past, that his boyfriend was on his way over at this moment to hear what Aaron had to say, and that the night would probably end with him sharing Aaron’s bed.

He couldn’t tell him all the things he wanted to tell him, because they were over, and they both needed to let go and move on. Aaron’s head knew this, even if his heart occasionally liked to disagree. But, as he watched the door to Keepers close slowly, he hoped that Robert would never forget the love they shared, because he knew he wouldn’t.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron finds out that Robert had a hand in his birthday, and it spurs on a decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who left a comment on this. It was originally a one shot but somehow I made it to three.
> 
> I hope you like this fluffy, slightly angsty end to this little story.
> 
> Enjoy xxx

‘’What’s this?’’ Aaron asked as a pint appeared in front of him, Robert hovering over it with a small smile on his face.

‘’Belated birthday present?’’ He joked.

‘’Cheers. Sit down, if you want.’’

‘’Yea, okay.’’ Robert sat opposite him, and Aaron couldn’t help his eyes as they flickered all over his face, so he cleared his throat and tried for a smile.

‘’Thanks, for the card as well by the way.’’

‘’No problem. I wasn’t sure whether I should get you something…’’

‘’The card was enough, especially when you got us those Christmas presents. Liv loved her art set, even if she won’t admit it.’’

‘’No surprise there, but I’m glad.’’

‘’Should be blaming you actually.’’

‘’For what?’’

‘’For Adam taking up residence in the Mill. Ever since he saw that video game on the table he’s round every chance he gets, trying to beat my top score.’’

‘’You’ll have to start charging him rent.’’

‘’Well Vic keeps making me lasagnes as a thank you for getting him out from underneath her feet, so can’t complain too much.’’ Aaron chuckled.

‘’Sounds about right.’’

‘’When did you get them?’’ Aaron asked suddenly.

‘’I’m sorry?’’

‘’In the hospital, you said you bought them ages ago. When exactly…was that?’’

‘’When you were in prison.’’ Robert revealed, his eyes locking with Aaron’s, sending a chill down his spine.

‘’But that was months ago.’’

‘’Said it had been a while.’’

‘’Why so early?’’

‘’Special offer.’’ Robert joked meekly.

‘’And the real reason?”’

‘’I was having a bad day.’’ Robert admitted. ‘’The appeal seemed a bit shaky and Liv was giving me grief, so I took off into Leeds for a few hours, just to get some space. Saw the art set first, was gonna give it to her when I got home as an apology but then I saw the video game in some vintage shop and I dunno…just seemed right to keep them both for Christmas.’’

‘’I wasn’t even supposed to be out in time for Christmas.’’ Aaron interjected, still trying to digest the fact that Robert had bought his present so early on.

‘’I know, wishful thinking I suppose. But it worked, in the end.’’

‘’You have always managed to get what you wish for.’’

‘’Not always.’’ Robert replied, and the air hung heavy between them. ‘’So…what did Alex get you?’’ he asked in a feeble attempt to lighten the mood.

‘’Erm…tickets to a rally car show over in Manchester.’’

‘’Wow, he knows you well then.’’ Robert smiled.

‘’Yea…he does.’’ Aaron agreed, watching Robert intently for any flicker of recognition, but there was nothing. He knew as soon as he opened the envelope that Alex had nothing to do with the gift in his hands. It was all Robert’s doing, but Aaron had feigned ignorance at the time, enthusiastically thanking his boyfriend for the present, and he would feign that same ignorance now.

‘’Anyway, I should leave you to it, let you get some more practice in before Adam comes over for that rematch.’’ Robert joked.

‘’Like I need it; undefeated, me.’’ Aaron smirked back.

‘’I’ll have to challenge you myself sometime then.’’

‘’Hold you to that, see ya later yea?’’

‘’Of course.’’

Aaron watched Robert leave the pub, his fingers drumming relentlessly on the table as he resisted the urge to go after him. Instead, he sent a quick text to Alex inviting him over. There was something he needed to do.

 

 

A week had passed since Robert and Aaron’s conversation in the pub, and Aaron couldn’t fight it anymore. Finding himself on the doorstep of Keepers, he ignored the voices in his head – voices that sounded suspiciously like his mum and his little sister – telling him to just walk away. Before he could give in, he knocked on the door. And he waited.

‘’Aaron?’’ Robert asked in surprise once he made it to the door, looking at him curiously as he hovered nervously on the doorstep.

‘’Can I come in?’’

‘’If you’re looking for Adam…’’

‘’He’s up at the farm with Vic, I know. I came to see you. So…can I?’’

‘’Yea, of course.’’ Robert stood aside as Aaron brushed past him. ‘’So, what’s up?’’ he asked curiously as Aaron stood awkwardly in the living room.

‘’I wanted to say thanks, for the birthday present.’’

‘’You came over here to thank me for a pint?’’

‘’I’m not talking about the drink Robert.’’

‘’Then you’ve lost me.’’

‘’Right yea, so Alex just knows me that well then? Getting me tickets to a car show I’ve been banging on about for months after knowing me five minutes?’’

‘’Well maybe Liv helped him, or Adam.’’

‘’C’mon Robert, let’s not do this.’’

‘’Do what?’’

‘’I’m not leaving here until I get the truth.’’

‘’Fine.’’ Robert relented. ‘’I heard him and Liv in the café the other morning, talking about some book he was getting you...’’

‘’Since when have I ever read books?’’ Aaron interjected with a snort.

‘’Well exactly, so when Liv left I kinda suggested the car thing to him instead.’’

‘’And he just went along with it, just like that?’’

‘’Well he seemed nervous about it, and Liv wasn’t helping, so I thought he could use some pointers.’’

‘’And then you told him to keep quiet about you sticking your nose in.’’

‘’I just wanted you to have a good birthday Aaron.’’

‘’You could have given me the tickets yourself.’’

‘’That would have just made things awkward, and it wouldn’t have been fair on Alex.’’

‘’Since when do you care about him?’’

‘’Since I’ve seen how happy he makes you.’’

Robert’s statement rocked Aaron, sending another shiver down him as he looked for any hint of jealousy in his eyes, but there was none there, just sincerity.

‘’And that’s the only reason, nothing else?’’ Aaron asked, daring to hope that there was something, but Robert’s face was unreadable.

‘’What other reason would there be?’’

‘’You tell me.’’

‘’I think…I think maybe you should go now Aaron.’’

Robert backed away, putting himself out of Aaron’s reach, and he was forced to admit defeat. He was just at the door when the voices came back, only this time, they were telling him to stay. Spinning around, he locked eyes with the man at the other end of the room.

‘’No Robert, I can’t leave it like this.’’ He said determinedly.

‘’Leave what?’’

‘’The day you came home from the hospital, I slept with Alex.’’

He saw it, just for a second, the whisper of hurt and jealousy that cascaded over Robert’s features, but it was gone before he could fully take it in. But he didn’t miss the way Robert leaned on the table ever so slightly, as if to steady himself before responding.

‘’Okay…’’ Robert finally managed to say.

‘’I told him about my scars. He understood, just like I thought he would, and we slept together.’’

‘’Why are you telling me this Aaron?’’

‘’Because I ended things with him last week.’’

‘’Why? If things were going that…well.’’ Robert hesitated. ‘’Did he say something? Did he make you feel uncomfortable?’’ He stepped closer as he questioned Aaron, the change in him unmistakable as his protective instincts emerged.

‘’No, he was fine with them, but that was the problem Robert. All I ever expected from any man I’ve been with is for them to accept my body for what it is. I never thought I’d get any more, and Alex was as understanding as I hoped for, but all I could think about after we spent the night together was you.’’

‘’Aaron, you're not making any sense.’’

‘’Alex accepted my scars, just like Ed did, it was the most I used to ever hope for, but then you came along and you didn’t…’’

‘’What? You think I didn’t accept them?

‘’No Robert, you didn’t accept them. You cherished them, you _loved_ them.’’

‘’Because they're a part of you and I loved you Aaron.’’ Robert replied instantly.

‘’No, it was more than that. Alex and Ed, they ignored the scars, because of how they felt about me, but you…God Robert, sometimes, I’d catch you looking at them like…like they were…’’

‘’Cracks to let more of your light shine through.’’ Robert finished without missing a beat.

‘’Yes,’’ Aaron breathed heavily. ‘’You see, you say things like that and it’s so cheesy but it makes me feel so…’’ he sighed, unable to get the words out, ‘’and I don’t know what to do with it, and you can call me selfish if you want and maybe I am, but I can’t bare the thought of you ever saying things like that to other people.’’

‘’I don’t want to say anything like that to anyone else,’’ Robert whispered back.

‘’Then can we…?’’ Aaron stopped his question as soon as he saw Robert take a step back, putting distance between them again and shaking his head.

‘’I can’t.’’

‘’Why not?’’ Aaron asked, the sting from Robert's rejection prickling his skin like nettles. 

‘’Because nothing’s changed. I caused some of those scars Aaron, and I still have a son. Rebecca is letting me see him again, so he’s back in my life now, and you couldn’t do it before, so what makes this time any different?’’

‘’I’m stronger now, and so are you.’’

‘’It’s that easy is it, you just say that and everything is okay?’’

‘’No, it’s not. I still can’t be around her, not after everything, but your son is different, and isn’t that enough? Isn’t what we have worth fighting for?’’

‘’You said you hated him though.’’

‘’Yea I know, and at the time I did. But I’m different now. How can I hate him? How can I possibly hate anything that has the love of my life running through his veins?’’

‘’Aaron…of course I still love you, but…’’

‘’Look, I know it won’t be easy, and I know I’ll have bad days, days where I can’t be around either of you, but that won’t be because of you. It will be me, and my issues, because I’m a work in progress. I’ll always be one, but maybe we can be a work in progress together.’’

‘’But what if it goes wrong again Aaron?’’ Robert asked, and he suddenly looked incredibly innocent.

‘’Of course it’ll go wrong again, but it wouldn’t be messed up forever if it didn’t, right?’’ Aaron answered with a hopeful smile, and Robert’s face softened into a look of complete disbelief.

‘’And you really mean it? Because I can’t lose you again Aaron.’’

‘’Yes Robert, I mean it. Besides,’’ Aaron continued as he linked his fingers through Robert’s, ‘’my New Year’s resolution was to win back my husband, and you don’t want me to fail, do you?’’ He smirked, eliciting a hearty laugh from the man opposite him, one that made him tremble all the way down to his knees.

‘’That was not your New Year’s resolution.’’ Robert scoffed as he tightened his grip on Aaron’s fingers.

‘’Yes it was. Just because I decided on it two weeks late, doesn’t mean it doesn’t count. So, messed up forever then?’’

‘’Messed up forever.’’ Robert agreed, pulling Aaron towards him, his eyes soft and dark and filled with an indescribable look of love.

‘’I love you Aaron Dingle.’’

‘’I love you more Robert Sugden.’’

Robert tilted Aaron’s chin up towards him, pulling him into a soft, lingering kiss that they both poured everything they had into. It wasn’t fiery, or lust-filled. It was tender, and full of the promises they had just made to each other. They stood there for what seemed like hours, just holding each other, until they heard the jingle of keys in the doorway and the unmistakable screech of Robert’s little sister as she realised just what she walked in on.

 

 

In the end, it was Vic herself that discovered the truth, one lazy Sunday as she created a family photo album for Isaac. She almost missed it, but there he was, the spitting image of Seb sitting on the knee of a much younger James Barton. It didn’t take her long before she was hammering on the door of Home Farm, waving the picture in Rebecca’s face and demanding answers.

Aaron held Robert’s hand as the DNA test came through and informed him that Rebecca was correct when she claimed Robert Sugden would never be Seb’s father.

He answered the door of Keepers to a hysterical Rebecca when his husband couldn’t, and told her in no uncertain terms to vanish when she pleaded ignorance and begged for forgiveness.

He held Robert in his arms as he cried and grieved for the child he had lost after he said a final goodbye to Seb.

He gave Robert space when he needed it, told him he loved him when he needed to hear it, and little by little, Robert moved on, and Aaron was there every step of the way.


End file.
